Morning starts

Isaac

The other morning I woke up and went for a run and had this thought pop up on morning routines, and starts.  What makes a good one? Why do we have them? What purpose does it serve us each day? So I wanted to try to dig into that, see what I could find…

A CLOSER LOOK

OK, so here’s what I found.  First, we’re fascinated with morning routines. You don’t have to look far to see some article, post, or video on it.

When asked why we’re interested, I think most would say that it’s because 

we associate success and productivity with morning routines.  

We want to know what the morning routines are of people with wealth, celebrity or success so that we can try to follow and tap into some of what they have.  

For those of us that are Type A it’s perfect because it’s what we seek so we can do more, for others that are Type B, perhaps it’s a way to try to pull ourselves out of something. 

I got into a rabbit hole after my first search on Google: 

taking a look at Google trends over the past 5 years, you see a pretty steady stream of interest in the keyword “morning routines.”  

Then in March of this year, you see a spike that sticks out like an EKG on a heart monitor.  

What exactly happened there?

And then it hit me and the dots connected.  

A certain video of a morning routine that includes a 3:53am wake up with by lots of cameo appearances from a certain blue bottled water, 

followed by ice bath dunking and banana peel facials provoked that peak of interest in morning routines like we hadn’t seen in the last five years, and the viral “Ashton Hall” phenomenon began. 

And after watching that video, I got sucked into the good ol YouTube black hole. 

A METHODOLOGY

I started to see all these morning routine videos pop up so I compiled a playlist of all that I could get my hands on and watched them all.  

I watched the most viral videos including one that got 159M views, 

I saw routines from software engineers, to gym bros, to the guy that wants to live forever. 

I heard from navy seals and scientists, shaolin monks and cowboys, the entrepreneurs, athletes and health gurus.  

There’s even a bit with Elmo’s morning routine.  

And you can’t forget Marky Mark, and his wild 2:30am wake up routine.

After sitting with these, here are some of my thoughts.  It’s not what I expected…

THE PERFECT MORNING

You’ll notice something interesting when you search for these routines.  The titles of many might reveal the true nature of something that’s lurking underneath.  

Words like “perfect” and “alone” came up often and it surprised me.  

For one, to claim something as perfect is a pretty bold claim, especially when every person’s life, body and circumstance is a different shade and makeup.  What works for you as a routine might not work for another person.  

To pronounce that you are alone might show a deeper sadness despite the high achieving life you’re displaying.

I noticed something else. Most of these people are alone: there’s no significant other in their shots, no children around, no workout partner.  They showcase moments where they are working productively, but their meals are always in front of the computer, their hustles are the focus and everything looks nice, but what’s the end goal?

Everything’s aesthetic, sterile, curated and in their place.  And we gobble this stuff up because it’s either so far from what our routines could ever be or because it makes us do a double take because what’s real and not seems a little bit bent and out of shape.

Another thing you’ll notice is that you’d be hard pressed to find guys whose main vocation is working with their hands posting these videos, or people who are truly pushing boundaries towards deeper motivations claiming any of their routines are perfect.

When you watch these, if you’re an overachiever, the gears start turning on how you can one up what you’re seeing.  If you’re lazy but want more, you start trying to manifest what it could look like to live like them.

IN ROUTINES WE TRUST

As I looked through all these routines, then thought some more about them, 

it made me realize that they could become a sort of religion, a glorified way of self worship. 

It could become our daily drug of choice, a crutch, 

or another attempt to conjure up a good day, an over indexing of control, an obsession with perfection.

It honestly hit me hard.  

I thought this was going to be some cool conversation we could have about all the great ways to optimize our routines.  

But what it did instead was tap me on the shoulder to take a good hard look at myself 

to see places that I had somehow lost the point, 

to make sure it hadn’t become something sadder and self serving than it was supposed to be.

You see, I think if we’re not careful, these isolated routines become our laws towards a legalism that serves our god, which is ourselves. 

In our hyper individualistic routines, we find our source of pride, gratification, worthiness, our very sense of self – not within, but from the things we do. 

And when these perfect lives crumble, we lose ourselves. 

I’ve been there. There are days where I set my mind to keep my routine, where I desire to be productive, to attack the entire list of things I set for myself. 

And when things don’t go my way — I wake up too late, or I don’t hit my goal, 

I get inconveniently sidetracked by a needy child or unforeseen circumstance —

I find myself later in the day feeling like I’m lacking, I’m irritable, even depressed. 

Why is that? 

I think it’s because I let myself down, I didn’t do the things I wanted to control and do, I failed to keep the law I made for myself. 

What once could've been good, now became the very thing that started to pull me away from what I originally wanted…which was to be a better man.

So what’s the point? Let’s be sure to set the table because what I’m about to say will rub some people the wrong way.

In the spectrum of routines out there, I’m not saying morning routines are bad. 

I would rather choose having a morning filled with routine than not. 

It encourages discipline, produces more growth and better opportunity for good things to happen.  

For some of us, we really need to start a routine so we can find ourselves. 

For others, we desperately need to pull back before we lose who we actually are.  

And for most, we’re somewhere in the middle, things seem fine or time is filled up, you might have a little routine here and there, but you’re indifferent and going through the motions, maybe your days feel like they’re lacking meaning, conviction, life itself.

And for all of us, maybe pausing for a moment, asking questions about what you seek from your day and routines is important, otherwise it might turn into something that takes away.

It makes me think of that savant polymath, Benjamin Franklin, whose routine is often referenced, and who started his day with a question, “WHAT GOOD SHALL I DO THIS DAY?”  

This way of living started the day less with the answers, like the to-do list of things that are easy to immediately grab onto 

and more of the pause and question of what is good, worthy and of value to put one’s time and energy towards. 

To take it further, I wonder if we should ask each morning “HOW SHOULD I FILL MY CUP?” 

Every morning we wake up, I think we have this reset moment, blank slate, empty cup that we hold 

and we get an opportunity to either fill it with good things or distracting things, 

things that help us prosper, or things that take away and make us lose ourselves.  

I believe each of our cups have a limited capacity that we’re given, some of us have more, some have less.  

Some are single go-getter entrepreneurs ready to make much with their day.

Others are juggling a chronic health condition, a season where you’re just not feeling it.

Or others, trying to manage the chaos of getting three kids out the door on time, grinding at work and paying your bills.

But what if we built an intention around filling ourselves the first thing with GOOD THINGS?

When we choose to wake up, it’s a good thing.

When we choose to sit on the porch and drink our coffee, watching the sunrise for a moment, that’s a good thing.

When we choose to lace up our shoes and stride into the morning for a run, 

we draw from the cool air,

and it fills our lungs with good things. 

When you seek the wisdom of others rather than yourself, it’s a good thing.

When we sit with our loved ones and share our breakfast with them, it’s a good thing.

So when it comes to morning routines, the question might be more along the lines of,

what will you choose to fill yourself with each morning of each day, 

when your body vessel is new and fresh to receive it?

And when we think about things in that way, the SOURCE that you draw from is just as important as what you fill yourself with.

Does grabbing the phone first thing in the morning tap into the best source of what you need for the day?

Is what you meditate on or pray to, serve more as an empty superstition than something that’s really alive and life-giving?

And before you pour that scoop of this or that supplement, or grab that donut, does it come from a good source?

How much of your morning are you spending filling yourself with things that serve yourself versus what could overflow for others?

SOME THOUGHTS

All these routines and thinking led me to a place where I really had to examine myself and the intentions behind my own daily routines.  

In closing, here are some of the things I’m learning that I wanted to share with you:

-it is better to have a routine than to not

-it is better to think and do vs just doing

-it is better to find practices that make you better for others than only for yourself

And then, also:

-practices like routines should help you find yourself not lose yourself

-consistency is important 

If we think of our routines as a person, if we set a time each day to meet someone and consistently showed up late or didn’t show up at all, what kind of person would we be?  If we said we would do something but consistently didn’t do them, or do nothing at all, who are we?

Routines are practice runs to help us be better people, despite our continual flaws and shortcomings.  

The point is not perfection, but a peace, a confidence, a flow from inside.

And if you're struggling to find a routine, I would encourage you to start. Start small then build on it. Find your own groove.  Everyone’s life and circumstance is different, so why should your routine look like others? Write in your journal, take a 20 min walk outside before the kids wake up, enjoy your breakfast, draw from a good source.  Take the best parts of what you observe from others if you want, try them and tinker with them until you find what’s yours. 

Also, find your reason.  POUR IN SO YOU CAN POUR OUT.

For me, I think of my family for the reason for my routine.  I’m better for them when I start my day filling it well.  

The other day, I applied some of what I mentioned here and named each mile of my run by each member of my family as motivation to push forward.  

Each mile ran meant I could be better for each of them.  

It might sound silly, but what could be another mundane run had more purpose and meaning, and I ran it.   

When you put others before yourself, asking yourself, “will this thing I do make it better for others?” you’ll find a strong motivation to check off the things you desire.

Who knew that Google search and a viral morning routine could stir up so much?

I think for me, this is serving as yet another reminder to examine the interior self often, 

that when you take anything to an extreme, it begins to take life away, not give it.

Wherever you are on your journey, whether you're a Type A over achiever like me, or a Type B person who has deep desire but are struggling to find a way towards it, 

or a Type C person who can’t catch a break in their overloaded and trying life, 

I hope this encourages you to find a place to fill your cup each morning of each day.

More life and peace,

Glossary